with your own penis?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
