yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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