I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
