it wasn't lemon gatorade
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
