I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
