For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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