Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
