If that was your dad, he is hot
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
