If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
