Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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