yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Still dying that you shit outside
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
