I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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