Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
