would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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