Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
