Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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