So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
