yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
