i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
