she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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