Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
