Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
