i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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