areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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