Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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