1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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