i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
