He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize