You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
