Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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