Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
