I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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