I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she told me i tasted like america
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
