its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
