Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
