Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
