we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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