So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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