i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize