woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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