did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
