If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
