I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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