I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
