you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
