found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
