After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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