I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
