Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
