Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I love you. Go after that dick
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
