Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize