what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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