So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
