Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How external is "for external use only"?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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