Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
