8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
