So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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