okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize