You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
