you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
