Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
