just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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