Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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