By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
