The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
